aww~

Always hold onto the past sure that so painful and like something terrible. The shadow of the past, is just like a ghost, always following you around. I just don't want you to see that kind of side of me. Your hand that you keep showing me, silently says 'hold onto me' will definitely.. expose.. what I've been keep inside me.. what I keep hidden all this time. And that something I can't allow.. I don't want you to see what the source of this feeling is. Scared. Afraid. Painful. And make my heart almost empty. Drained my soul too. Can you just let me forget? I want to forget. That kind of feeling I don't want to remember or recall or have anymore. Just let it out off of my damn head.

Sigma - Istikharah Cinta + Lirik Lagu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9YvpHAB1Tg

Heart Scream..

i've been so lost for so long already..

if i come up with an excuse, will it be change everything? will you accept who i am..?

no one understands.. no one knows.. who i really am..

you accept it or not, that's  real me..

should i tell you something instead..? 

why are our heart so different? 

it's been.. this part of me has been empty forever.. no matter how much i fill it, it's still empty.

i've been aching and yearning.. to the point where i going mad.

i've been longing for something that doesn't exist.

what i truly desire.. is something that i can never have. 

the hand that touched my face.. were freezing cold.. losing the power to think, only a flood of questions filled my mind

why? since when? since when did it grow into this twisted messed?

always.. i want it so badly i can't stand it.. but, my wish will never come true. i'm also very aware of that. i should understood that long ago. 

up until that day, how many times that i hurt you? 

now that i've been noticed, there's nothing i can say that matters anymore.. but, even so.. i didn't want to accept that as the answer..

don't go away.. stay with me only.. fall in love only with me!

koko ni iru kara..

Kadang-kadang aku rasa macam aku dah tak betul lak jadiknya... -.-' kenapa aa~? aku pun nak gak jatuh cinta macam orang lain. Nak gak rasa sayang kat orang. Nak gak bemanja ngan orang y aku sayang tu. >///< hehe.. tapi.. bila 'dia' datang kat aku luahkan rasa hati 'dia', kenapa aku tak rasa pape aa~? hati aku membeku terus je time tuh. Otak aku terus blank. Hitam. Kosong. Tak rase pape langsung. Bila aku baca novel cinta atau pun manga yang penuh dengan ayat2 cinta, hati aku terus terusik. :D Rasa macam bodoh pun ada.... -.-

Bila tengok anime, aku jadik betul2 rindu nak rasa orang sayang aku lagi. Lebih2 lagi bila tengok cite tu Sword Art Online, tengok betapa sayangnya Asuna kat Kirito. Betapa sayangnya Kirito kat Asuna. Jeles lak aku tengok.. ^^'' Mungkin betul kata kawan aku, hati aku dah jadik ais batu. Keras. Sejuk. Walaupun cair, tetap gak 'cold'. Tak rasa pape. Kebas. Kebal. Kaku. Kosong..kosong..kosong..

Hei.. you.. the one that fall for me.. what are you feeling right now? Did you hurt? Did you feel sick? Did you  know that my heart did not feel anything? Do you? I am sorry.. really.. really.. really sorry.. >_<' Me too.. want to love you the way you did, but.. -look at my own hand- it's cold.. pile.. feels nothing.. -.-~  -holds my head- I'm really sorry.. really very sorry to disappoint you.. really very sorry to turn your feeling down.. >_<

Somehow.. deep in my heart.. it's hurt a bit.. there's nothing I can do except apologize.. yeah.. I remember that hurt feeling. It's when someone rejected my confession.. x//D

maa.. ii yo.. daijobu desu yo, konna ni.. ima kara, just need to face forward. kowa ku nai yo.. nee~ ^__^

Ya Allah.. kosong terus otak aku time tu.. O.O  aku nak nangis ;~; , tapi hati aku tak rasa apa pun.. -.-' 

aku tau la benda tu murah, tapi aku sayang sangat-sangat.. boleh pakai lama.. bila aku tau je benda tu hilang, terus aku tak ley nak fokus buat apa-apa pun.. nasib baik aku still ley focus buat keje aku lagi.. aku pun tak tau la, apa masalah orang tu.. geramnya aku!!! >.<

tak reti nak insaf-insaf lagi ke? sedar la sikit, bila rumah da kata pergi..kubur lak da kata mari.. >.> -sigh- 

Ya Allah, berilah keinsafan pada hambaMu yang sangat kasihan itu Ya Allah.. berikanlah petunjukMu untuknya.. Amin